One Girl Revolution

...you've got to be fucking kidding me.

I'm feeling sort of melancholy at the moment - lonely, mostly. My mother has announced that she may (or may not) be coming up next weekend, since my brothers have a three day weekend. That pretty much means that I have to get the apartment in order this weekend, as she'll have a psychedelic freak-out if it's not perfect. It's not a bad thing per se - I really do need to wrangle the place - but I just had some other things that I wanted to work on this weekend. There's also the element of surprise at work, given that she probably won't let me know until Thursday night at 11pm whether or not she's coming. Class. It's supposed to be brutally cold that weekend, too. Can you tell I'm not looking forward to it?

It's sort of aggravating - back when I was dreaming about having a place of my own, I kept imagining being able to invite friends over whenever I wanted, and how we could just hang out and do whatever. Now that I have my own place, I no longer have friends in close proximity; if I want someone to come over, there has to be mass planning in advance. Bums a girl right out, it does. I'm hoping that hearingincolor gets my message and doesn't mind some time spent chilling here. I just want to be around people on a non-cube basis.

Blah - this blows. Not as much as some of the things I had to deal with last year, but still. Seriously. I don't like this whole "missing people" thing. Hell, I miss the whole "human contact" thing...

ETA: You know you're a music geek when every time you read one of the headlines from this series - EVERY SINGLE TIME - you go, "Edge? What? Where? Are he and Bono doing charity work?" And then you read the thing and feel like an idiot.

This was inspired by an essay that onceupon wrote, though it's not nearly as positive as hers. If you want an essay about embracing your body, you'll want to look elsewhere.

This isn't easy stuff, and it's not pretty, either. There's a possibility that I might piss a few people off, though that's not at all my intent. So I want to apologize in advance, because I love my friends. It's not them, it's me.

Lastly, I'm leaving this public. I considered locking it, I considered group locking it, but dammit, if my boyfriend is brave enough to leave his personal essays public, then so am I.

That said, it is cut. Because it's long as hell.

( Here there be issues. )